The Productive Outs PRODcast
PRODcast 114: THE HOT STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE!

Your favorite player probably got traded this week. 

(0:00-4:30) The open. 

(5:15-7:45) The musical guest: Ryley Walker. Buy "Primrose Green" here

(7:45-17:30) Emails from people named Chris.

(18:15-40:45) Baseball things:

  • Literally everyone was traded today. No on'e uniforms fit, and spelling errors abound. What are we going to do with all these leftover bobbleheads?? 
  • Cueto & Zobrist to the Royals, Kazmir to the Astros, Tulo to the Blooj A’s, Latos & Morse to the Dodgers, Papelboner to the Nats, Hamels to Rangers, Gomez to Mets (OR NOT), LAD/ATL/MIA three-way

(41:17-46:40) Musical advice: If you choose to sit down at a show, have you given up on life? 

(46:40-53:40) This week's Old School Player of the Week is:

MIKE PROLY

I discovered this gem last week and couldn’t resist the urge to flood our Twitter feed with pics and things Mike Proly did. Some of my favorites …

  1. Mike Proly wishes he didn’t have to wear that dumb [White Sox] uniform, amirite?

  2. Mike Proly went a little overboard at the bar last night.

  3. From Drew Fairservice: “Mike Proly drives a Trans Am. Mike Proly is the physical embodiment of despair on on a baseball card.”

  4. Mike Proly locked himself out of his apartment and thinks he proly left the stove on.

  5. Mike Proly thought his girlfriend Crystal was being honest when she said she was quitting stripping so she could go back to school.

  6. Mike Proly thought he’d have more time to work on the 1983 Pontiac Firebird that’s been on blocks in his front yard for 17 years.

  7. Mike Proly wishes he were “anywhere but here” ALL OF THE TIME.

Mike Proly could very easily pass for one of Will Forte’s SNL characters, and he is truly one of the saddest, mouselike humans to ever grace a baseball card. He’s got a 60 DADHAT, a plus plustache, 70 70s hair and 80 chest hair. Proly pitched in the bigs for seven seasons (from 1976 to 1983) with the Cards, White Sox, Phillies and Cubes, primarily as a reliever. He walked 195 batters and struck out 185 in 545 ⅔ innings, and had a career WHIP of 1.330. Proly is quoted extensively in a 1985 article from the Chicago Tribune on spitballs, Vaseline balls and ball-scuffing. Apparently he did all of those things to no avail. He now sells insurance.

Direct download: PRODcast_114_-_HOT_STOVE.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 2:21pm PDT

PRODcast 113: Dennis Lamp Would Like to Sell You Some Cod

(0:00-6:06) The open

(6:40-30:06) The non-Canadian emails. Stream "Opposite Field" here

( 30:40-50:57) The baseball things. 

  • ASG recap: Mike Trout is good, and so is the new HR Derby format

 

  • The stove’s getting hot: Cueto, Hamels, Samardzija, Bruce, and more

(50:57-1:12:42) The human guest: Eric Stephen of True Blue LA

(1:13:17-1:19:50) The Old School Player of the Week:

DENNIS LAMP

55 (70 ceiling) DADHAT, 70 DADGLASSES, PLUS-PLUSTACHE, and apparently he cloned his mustache and replaced his eyebrows with it.

Dennis Lamp played 16 MLB seasons with the Cubes, White Sox, Blue Jays, A’s, Red Sox and Pirates. His peak years (1978-1980) were spent as a middling starter, but he spent the remainder of his career as a mediocre arm out of the pen. He is responsible for surrendering Lou Brock’s 3000th hit, as well as Cal Ripken Jr.’s first MLB hit.


Mind blown: He has worked behind the seafood counter at Bristol Farms in Newport Beach since 2004.

Direct download: PRODcast_113_-_Dennis_Lamp_Would_Like_to_Sell_You_Some_Cod.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 6:54pm PDT

PRODcast 112: Failure Is Not An Option, Unless You Want To Listen To Them

Don't get it twisted: Failure is ALWAYS an option. 

 

(0:00-4:23) The open

(4:55-12:20) The musical guest: FAILURE. Buy "The Heart Is a Monster" here

(12:20-31:45) Electronic mail from weirdos

(32:15-59:30) Pipin'-hot baseball takes

  • RIP Alex Gordon, RIP Miggy
  • Matz’ latz
  • #FirstPlaceAstros lead is dwindling; Evan Gattis’ absurd tomahawk chop
  • Mike Trout is beasting (again). Fun w/ arbitrary end points … last 11 games, .368/.510/.868/1.378 OPS, 6 HR, 10 RBI
  • Halos have won 5 in a row, 9 of last 10
  • Huston Street angered the baseball gods and is suffering their wrath
  • All-Stars announced, final votes
  • HR Derby field announced, who u got?

(1:00:08-1:05:10) Musical advice: What next for a new band, play shows or record?

(1:05:10) This week's OLD SCHOOL PLAYER OF THE WEEK IS...

CARMEN FANZONE

An 80-grade name. A 60 - 70 mustache. 50 DADHAT. And a 70 horn player. Fanzone played five years as a utility player and pinch hitter in the bigs with the Red Sox and Cubes. Traded to the Cubes in 1971 for Phil Gagliano, which is the most Italian trade. Never played in more than 86 games in a season, has 20 career bombs, -0.8 WAR. Fanzone became a jazz flugelhorn player after his baseball career ended.


PRODcast 111: The LOLZ AngeLOLZ AngLOLZ

Man, those Angels. What a shitshow, amirite? Anyway. Here's the show. 

(0:00-4:20) The open

(5:00-9:45) Musical guest: MUTOID MAN. Buy "Bleeder" here

(9:45-20:20) The emails

(21:00-50:40) The baseball things

  • GODDAMNIT ANGELS
  • Stanton’s hand :(

  • #FirstPlaceAstros - CORREA and LOLberholtzer

  • The best fans in baseball root for the best team in baseball, the CRADNALZ

  • It’s an odd year and the GAINTS are in the mix

  • The DOGDERS are good because -- or in spite -- of Puig? 

  • Haha, the All Star Game though 

  • They changed some of the HR Derby rules, but not the one that mattered: banishing Chris Berman to the depths of the Marianna Trench 

  • Pete Rose is still a dipshit

(51:10-1:00:20) Musical advice: touring vs. fests, pro's and cons

(1:00:20-1:05:52) This week's The Old School Player of the Week is ...

 

VICENTE ROMO

This potato-headed, windbreaker-under-the-jersey, plus-DADHAT-sporting weirdo is a true gem. I’m guessing his hat is a size 8 ¾. And that pose he’s fond of striking … it’s like a half pre-creepy hug, half creepy uncle-pretends-to-be-the-boogeyman kinda thing. 100% NOT a baseball move. 100% weird.

His nickname was “Huevo”, which one can only assume must be a nod to his giant dome, rather than his one gigantic testicle. (Not true.) Huevo played seven years (for six different teams) as a long reliever/spot starter in the majors before heading to Mexico for seven years. He returned to the bigs with the Dodgers at age 39 and appeared in 15 games.

Career totals: 32-33, 3.36 ERA, 3.80 FIP, 1.315 WHIP, and 1 HR on May 30, 1980 vs. the White Sox.

 

Direct download: PRODcast_111_-_The_LOLZ_AngeLOLZ_AngLOLZ.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 7:46pm PDT

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